


Lost

by Small_Hobbit



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 15:37:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3615255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Hobbit/pseuds/Small_Hobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A group of intrepid explorers get lost in the lingerie department of a department store</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt by classics lover

They weren’t too sure where the door led to, but there was no time to ask questions for the Orcs were coming too close for comfort. Dwalin pushed his way in first, closely followed by the rest of the dwarves – Bombur bringing up the rear, mainly because he’d got stuck in the doorway and Dori and Nori had had to pull him through.  
  
Once inside they all came to a rapid standstill. Where they had been expecting a forest they were confronted with metal tree like objects covered in fine garments. Someone suggested that one of the rather intricately woven tunics would suit Kili, and held the black lacy object up in front of him. It didn’t take long for the others to find similar garments in different colours, so when Balin spotted a mirror they took it in turns to admire their reflections.   
  
Others had found much smaller items, most of which they tried on their heads, Bofur found a particularly fetching midnight blue item, which had excellent coverings for his ears. Thorin watched crossly, not daring to shout in case he attracted attention to the group and ignoring Fili’s suggestion that he and Bilbo should choose matching items, since they already had so much in common.  
  
The hobbit, meanwhile, had slipped the ring out of his pocket, and gone to look for a way out. In the process he had come across a troop of what he took to be black robed warriors. Suddenly the warriors’ aimless meanderings took on a clear purpose. Bilbo hurried back to the dwarves and indicated to them to follow the black-clothed warriors out of this mysterious place.  
  
Once back in the sunshine the dwarves breathed a sigh of relief when the saw Gandalf waving to them from the back of a small passageway.  
  
Later that day the floor manager wondered why the party of priests he had observed in the morning had stolen sixteen camisoles, five pairs of French knickers and a midnight blue bra. He decided against doing anything about it, not wishing to cause a scandal.

**Author's Note:**

> How could I not include a reference to that famous Father Ted episode?


End file.
